It was my older sister Jane's Christmas present and I was not supposed to touch it.

MY SEESTER JANE TAKING AN X-MAS NAP
But I had to touch it.
An old school cassette recorder may not look like much to the eyes of a generation that can surf the internet - but it sure was hot spit in 1974. I mean damn - I had Tony Orlando&Dawn cassettes to listen to!
So I touched it...
...and I knew I'd be in trouble. So I made plans.
My plan was simple - I was going to move into the bathroom...
...forever.
In preparation I took all my clothes and books into the can and wrote a long, soulful note explaining, among other things, that if my family really cared about me they'd feed me regularly by sliding slices of crisp bacon under the bathroom door. (This was sort of a bonus side to the whole thing cause I really liked bacon).
Then I locked the door.
I stayed in there for about 9 hours.
Nobody noticed. I realized I'd forgotten to leave the note on the other side of the door.
I came out and took my spanking.
And
I
didn't
get
any
bacon...


Sooo very sad, and heartbreakingly moving.
Just think, Captain, how differently your life would have turned out had you gotten just one thin strip of bacon, even if it was just a mere leftover. Well, at least you've come to terms with the memory (or so it seems), which is certainly a step in the right direction, eh?
Now you just have to get that Tony Orlando & Dawn thing out of your system. You can't fool Anita: I've seen you on windy street corners crooning, in your oh-so-seductive manner, "knock three times" while pointing at your pitifully empty donation jar.
Perhaps an intervention is warranted.
Posted by: Anita | February 17, 2006 at 03:35 PM
This explains everything...
Posted by: Sheila | February 20, 2006 at 10:09 AM
i saw an informercial for all things soft & easy 70's on tv the other day...i never knew what tony orlando & dawn looked like! hot stuff! don't be surprised when you start receiving these cd's in the mail...
Posted by: tamara | February 21, 2006 at 10:56 AM
mmmmmm, bacon.
Posted by: hinty | March 06, 2006 at 08:14 PM
hehe! That was very funny to read & very cute.
I remember moving into the bathroom a few times when I was a kid too. Basically because it was the only room in the house with a lock on it & I knew no one could get me in there when I'd done something wrong. If my own room would have had a lock, I'd have been laughing!
The time when I ran up a huge phonebill by just ringing up random people from the phonebook & tv because I was really bored springs to mind, they got the bill & I knew that they'd know it was me. The problem was, I never once took anything in there with me, I thought I'd survive ok. I think I took the Cat in there with me once, but I let her out eventually for the greater good. :)
Posted by: Sarah | August 21, 2006 at 07:27 AM