There is only one Lord and his name is...

Well snap my stays and give me a Hallelujah. In a staggering display of arrogance the keepers and spokesmen of the Religious Right have deemed that all who might question the wisdom of keeping a suffering coma victim alive are "anti religion liberals".

Now I take offense to that. I'm certainly a liberal, but that doesn't make me anti-religious. In fact I speak proudly of my faith, my commitment, my devotions and my love of my one true Lord on a daily basis.

My Lord Satan - whatta guy!

...Or Ba'al, or Beelzebub or call him what you will. I just love him to pieces.

And, if you take a good look around, you'll probably see I am not alone...

After all, what would the Old Ancient Trickster love more than to see so much foolish and bloviated do-gooder blather in the service of extending the suffering of a human being.

Now, really, I don't claim to have the foggiest notion of what the right answer is to the deeply personal, sad and protracted story of Terry Schiavo. And, I suppose, not having those absolutely unquestioning certainties makes me a very bad Satanist indeed. But thank - well, Satan I guess (!!) - that my brethren in Congress were around to pick up the ball and really bring the Dark Lord's agenda home.

Clearly most of the fawning Congressmen, who jumped on this issue with the same enthusiasm (and ham-fisted technique) with which an ex-con mounts a whore, were thinking that a coma is something sexy and dramatic - like in the movie of the same name starring Michael Douglas and Genevieve Bujold.

Who knows what they were thinking. Beyond a misguided sense of political expediency maybe they confusedly thought that they might get to actually meet Genevieve Bujold. Frankly, with this pack of slathering misfits, nothing would surprise me; sometimes it seems they just manage to stop talking long enough to get both feet in their mouths. Fuckers.

But Oh how our Ancient Evil Lord's sides must have ached with laughter as he watched the pompous buffoonery of a Congress that actually passed legislation to deal with this individual issue (no toilet paper handy? Use the Constitution boys), that had the temerity to ponder subpoenaing a coma victim and then - when they realized that the vast majority of American's were, well, kinda grossed out by it all - took a political and legislative flyer outta town.

Of course this was all brought about by that cowardly, lickspittle, politically-opportunistic, Sexy Succubus Jeb Bush who, in a rare moment of insight, actually chose to close up shop on his little crusade long before his big brother and Congress had finished 'saving' his dumb Floridian ass.

So now the sad joke is over, more or less. Congress silent as a mouse, Jeb Bush nowhere to be seen and somewhere, echoing distantly, the dying laughter of our Lord Satan - who loves a good joke as much as the next guy.

But don't worry - there's sure to be more...

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